Just as “the (tribe of ) Bani Taghlib were oblivious to every good deed,” as the poet Amr Ibn Kulthum put it, I too was oblivious last week, thanks to the latest ongoing crimes and terrorism by Israel. Other news items fell in turn by the wayside, even though they deserved to be cited or commented on briefly.

Today, I will choose some of the other items.

1-There is a political custom in the east, and some of the west, by which every losing candidate in an election accuses the winner of falsification. We saw Mir Hossein Moussavi accuse Mahmoud Ahmadinejad in Iran of falsifying the results, and Abdullah Abdullah make similar charges against Hamid Karzai in Afghanistan.

There is also a military tradition: everyone who kills civilians or commits war crimes says that the victim used women and children as human shields.

This is understandable, as it is human nature. However, it is unacceptable, and it becomes distasteful when mixed with the type of exaggeration that challenges logic and reason. In Ukraine, Prime Minister Yulia Tymoshenko accused her opponent, Viktor Yanukovich, of falsifying the election results, which is a strange charge since she organized and supervised the polls, and could not have stolen the election from herself.

On the military scene, the American offensive in Afghanistan has killed civilians, so NATO issued a statement, which said the Taliban are using civilians as human shields. I find this accusation hard to believe, since the Taliban are fighting in their country, in their towns and villages, and will not use their own “family” as human shields.

This accusation reminded me of the Israeli terror and occupation army, and how it alleged that Hamas men used women and children as human shields in Gaza. This is impossible, because the fighters were in their own homes. No one uses his mother, wife or child as a shield, not even an Israeli.

As an aside, in the military confrontation with the Houthi rebels on the border with Saudi Arabia, the Houthi spokesman said the following: we will withdraw from Saudi territory if they stop the aggression against us. It was clear that the spokesman was a novice and needed training in Israel on how to lie. When he acknowledges that he is in Saudi territory, the attack is no longer “aggression” but legitimate self-defense.

2-I memorized, in my youth (and I will say that it was nine years ago, like the losers of elections) some poetry by someone whom I do not know:

“Will you let passion pay you a visit?

For there is lust in seeing and hearing you.

No harm will come from a long stay,

Only a clear conscience, and wanton looks.”

Even though I do not have much experience, the poet does not convince me. Passion is betrayed by its looks, and if the person has a “roving eye” as we say in Lebanon, he does not have a clear conscience, if he had a conscience to begin with.

A half century later, science has proven what we had already arrived at through intuition. Dr. Tom Currie at the University of Tokyo gathered dozens of men and women to show that eyes indicate the desires of their owners.

The study cost 60,000 pounds sterling and I was ready to offer what I know, for 20 pounds.

I will summarize a US study this time, about the reasons why men die before women. I would say that a man dies before his wife, because he wants to, i.e. because he needs a rest.

3–The BBC is a state, and its annual budget is bigger than that of a small country. It pays everyone it talks to, on the radio or television. I once tried to get the BBC to donate a sum of money, on my behalf, to a children’s charity. I had two reasons. The first was that it was a small amount; the fee of an accountant who must estimate the tax I owed equaled the original amount. The second was to do a good deed, especially that not much would remain of the amount, after deducting taxes and the accountant’s fee.

A few days ago, I received a check written on pale yellow paper, as usual. I thought it was for 80 pounds, so I endorsed it and gave it to my wife, who gave it back to me a little while later, asking, “Do you want me to deposit 80 pence in the bank?”

The check was actually for 80 pence. I was despondent, because the BBC thought my ideas and information was worth less than a pound. However, after some research and checking, it turned out that the check was from The Independent and was for the price of an issue not delivered to subscribers.

4-Finally, have you heard of “nyotaimori”? It is a Japanese export, and I find it as wise as the brakes on a Toyota. The term refers to a sushi and sashimi banquet, on the body of a naked woman.

I am not an evangelist, but I would like to ask about a naked woman on a table under the lights in a restaurant. Doesn’t she sweat, and the sweat run down her body? Does nudity prevent clients from thinking about something disgusting? This is not an appetizer, but rather something that destroys the appetite.

khazen@alhayat.com