Ayoon Wa Azan (They Are Only Qualified To Work In a Restaurant)

What do Ronald Reagan, George W. Bush and Sarah Palin have in common? It is an extreme right wing policy that is based on stupidity and ignorance, since each of these individuals has a below-average IQ, does not read, and knows nothing about the affairs of his or her own country, not to mention those of the rest of the world.

They have also in common the Israel lobby, which refers to neo-conservatives, those American Jews whose allegiance lies only in one place: Israel and not the United States.

In fact, Reagan was a B-list actor, and a C-list politician who had betrayed his actor colleagues, and worked as an informant against them, in the days of the campaign against the alleged communists in the fifties. As for George W. Bush, he was an alcoholic, maybe even a drug addict, until he was forty. He had avoided military service in the Vietnam War, and escaped into the National Guard in Texas, taking advantage of his family’s influence. As for Palin, the neo-conservatives discovered the extent of her ignorance, when they visited Alaska during their traditional annual trip, and thus decided that they can rule with her as a front, if she lands in the White House. As such, they introduced her to the Republican presidential candidate John McCain, an old man suffering from many illnesses, with the hope that she might one day inherit the presidency if he dies, or maybe succeed him after he completes his term.

Palin’s ignorance was blatantly clear; for instance, she claimed to be an expert on Russian affairs and politics, because she could see Russia from the window of her home in Alaska. McCain’s campaign managers tried to do some damage control, following each interview with Palin in the media or on television; however, she eventually sank, dragging McCain’s candidacy along with her to the gutter.

Today, Palin is back in the political limelight, thanks to her autobiographical book entitled “Going Rogue”, in the sense of being a rebel against traditions, or norms. The English word “rogue”, which can refer to a state of rebellion or revolt, has also synonyms, such as scoundrel or rascal. Also, the term was used, in the days of the Bush administration, to describe “outlaw states”, as we chose to translate the term [into Arabic] at the time, and was intended for countries such as North Korea, Iran and Iraq. Perhaps, the closest thing to the meaning of her book’s title is “The Last of The Kharijites [outsiders]” - the title of the autobiography written by my colleague and friend Riyad Najib al Rayes. The meaning that Palin sought behind the title of her book is close to this one, with many apologies to Riyad.

Palin’s book, combined with her tours to promote it and the huge controversy surrounding her, instantly pushed her into the forefront of political and public interest, from coast to coast in the United States, and she has even competed with Barack Obama himself in capturing the attention of the media. But despite her possible unawareness in this regard, such interest in an ignorant politician is being fuelled by no other than the evil warmongering gang of neo-conservatives, who are attempting to polish her image, in the hope of helping her win the Republican nomination for the Presidential Elections in 2012, and perhaps the presidency after that, whereby they would lead the United States on behalf of Israel once again, as they did with Reagan and Bush. This would only ruin the world, along with U.S interests, all for the sake of Israel’s alleged security (had it not been for the legitimate resistance in Iraq and the criminal terrorist attacks, the above mentioned gang would have extended its wars to Iran and Syria up to regime change there.)

If this scheme does not succeed with Palin, the gang has other women, such as Michele Bachmann: this right wing U.S Representative from the state of Minnesota is a 53 year old brunette, who is opposed to the healthcare plan, the economic rescue and the stimulus package; besides, she does not believe that there is any menace to the environment. Bachmann suddenly received overwhelming media coverage and I cannot understand why. If this lady pulls out, she can be replaced by two other known right-wing loudmouthed women, Anne Coulter and Michelle Malkin, and it seems that the neo-conservatives, following the victory of a black candidate in the presidential elections, have decided that it is the women’s turn to win the presidency next.

In any case, Palin does not seem to have learned much, ever since her defeat in the elections, and although she claims that she reads a lot, she also says in her book that she has learned everything she needs to know from the basketball court, and is still calling herself a “hockey mom”, which means that she often takes her children to play at hockey rinks. She also claims to be a deer hunter, although Levi Johnston, the boyfriend of her daughter Bristol, says that she is neither this nor that, and that she doesn't even know how to use a rifle. He recently threatened to go to the court to get access to his son Tripp, whom Bristol conceived when she was 17 years old.

Also, Palin complained in the book about the McCain campaign staff members, who tested her knowledge of foreign affairs and even attempted to know whether she understood the background of the conflict between Sunni and Shiite Muslims. However, she did not understand this background at the time, and still does not understand it, since she says in the book that this conflict dates back to the thirteenth or fourteenth century AD, when in fact it dates back to the seventh century AD. There are many mistakes in the book, which McCain’s campaign aides have tried to address, in particular when she attacked some of these aides, while praising John McCain, prompting some of the former to provide a contradictory account to the one given by Palin.

In fact, the likes of Reagan, George W. Bush and Palin are only qualified to work in a restaurant like McDonald’s, and to ask the customers ordering a Hamburger: Do you want fries with that?

Palin is now threatening to split the Republican party, as there are those who believe that she will be party’s saviour, while others fear that she will only bring ruin to the party. Perhaps then, the best explanation for the decline of American politics and the demise of American politicians lies in the fact that Dwight Eisenhower’s party is now in the hands of Sarah Palin.

khazen@alhayat.com [1]